13 years - Do I miss her more then ever....

February 9, 1996 is the day my mom, Susan Sorensen died. I was doing so good this morning but then once I got to work started to get upset. I guess I take turns missing her on her birthday or the day she died - they are only 8 days apart. So much has gone on in the past 13 years and I can't believe it has actually been that long. The pain is still there, the pit in my stomach that I can't call her and ask her how to spell something, or if she could make brownies for my meeting tonight, or just have her around you to make you feel I.W.B.J.F - "It will be just fine"...I used to think that saying was so dumb but now I get it - I know that things will be just "fine", especially is this horrible economy we are living in right now. My mom would make it seem like it was going to get better and soon, she just had this way about her.

I sometimes wish Mike got it -but I know he can't relate since he hasn't ever lost anyone in his family that he was that close to -(except our dog Wilbur). I wish Mike knew to just put his arms around me today and say "it will be just fine".... but that isn't his way. I'm sure he thinks I want to have a pity party, and maybe I do. I miss not having a mom around, someone to tell you to get your act together, or that you look nice (even if you haven't lost the pounds you needed to), or that you are a terrific mom. My dad tries hard, but it isn't the same as a mom.
I used to tell Mike that I wish I had a "wife" or a "mom".

I won't have a pity party today, but be thankful for all that she taught me and make sure I leave that legacy with Isabella and Soren.

So if you are reading this and have a mom, call her or hug her, if you are reading this and don't have a mom - call me or hug me!!

xxox
Caroline